One night I was working on practicing mediation – like most of my attempts I lost my focus within the first minute. 🤪 But it was partially because of the profound metaphor God put on my heart when I looked outside my window into the night sky. Sometimes our lives go through seasons of darkness – especially coming from seasons of light, the shadows can be blinding in their own way. I went on my porch and stared at the night sky – it was seemingly empty – mostly because of the light pollution. So I looked longer – letting my eyes balance to the loss of light to better see in this new darkness. Finally I saw it. A lone star. I moved to sit, continuing to let my eyes adjust – now that I found one, I wanted to see more. Before long I found myself surrounded by a sky incandescently lit before me - stars making pathways through the obsidian background. Funnily enough the stars were there the entire time; yet I had to go into that darkness in order to give my eyes time to see them. The metaphor in all this is that, for me, those stars are like gratitude. In my season of darkness the one thing that has brought me the most growth and healing is simply the act of being grateful. For everyday simplicities, relationships and interactions, the moments we get to learn, and eventually the seasonal darkness itself. I actually hear most from God when I posture my heart in gratitude – within gratitude there is light. And God IS light. It can be easy to come off a season of brightness, when everything is going the way you want. Then suddenly darkness hits. Pain, hurt, brokenness, loss. It’s too easy to run away – our eyes seeking the light of what was once before. When instead we can let ourselves mourn by moving into the darkness knowing healing light awaits to guide us out. Gratitude does not dismiss the weight of what you feel – Instead it’s a choice to seek moments of thankfulness while you are in the depths of those feelings. This is what it means to let your eyes adjust. Because once you practice gratitude, you will find blessings surrounding you endlessly. And that God is present with you through it all. 
As a business owner, it’s easy to believe we are always right. Our ego makes us believe we are right and our clients are wrong. THEY need to do more work to move towards us. Humility makes us look deeper. It challenges us to ask ourselves what we could do BETTER. It’s not a right or wrong, it’s a “How can I serve better?” mindset. How can we move AHEAD of our clients so they, who’s already lost in the “wilderness” of knowing what to do, (something WE already have the compass + experience for) can easily see the light of direction we shine at them? Here are 3 ego checks we HAVE to consider as a business owner: 1. if you’re getting asked the same questions over and over, it’s not them it YOU. You are not communicating something well enough. In the beginning of my business I got asked the same five questions over and over again. I got SO frustrated because the answers were on my website. Communicating something once is never enough. Once I got pride in check I realized it was a ME problem. So now I have these answers everywhere. Website, Pricing guide, inquiry email. It took more work to overcommunicate, but now I these questions are rarely asked. I save the time back presently, AND I look much more prepared for my couples. 2. If people book someone else over you, don’t blame them. Use it as an opportunity to better your inner-face, and also realize you may not serve them best. Clients have ideal photographers just like we have ideal clients. It’s not about bookings, it’s about serving someone best. Speak directly to your people, and celebrate when clients find people that can serve them well. 3. When you compare yourself you make it all about YOU. It’s a selfish mindset. Instead, on your journey and gifts. “Iam not good enough. Why can’t I be like her? I don’t have the skills.” The emphasis on all of these concerns is “I” It’s a blunt way to put it, but comparison is one of the most selfish mindsets to get stuck in, because at the end of the day it’s all about you. Not about how YOU, beautifully and uniquely created YOU can serve the people around you. Did any of these speak to you especially? How can you better check your ego? 
One of the biggest lessons I am learning is the idea of reframing - of being self-aware of feelings and choosing to create new pathways for opportunity. Within the mind, it’s literally creating new coding that goes against the grain of what we have been learning our entire lives. It’s freedom from the prisons we trap ourselves in. For example, I have been terrified of conflict for so long. (I’m an enneagram 9…it’s the nature of me I wrestle with daily) Because of this I ran from so much of my life – too afraid to engage because of “conflict.” Learning to agree with everyone because disagreeing brought hard conversations. Freeze. Shutdown. Flee. The pattern of who I used to be. When I began to understanding reframing – breaking the walls our minds to put up – I simply chose not to stop being afraid, (that’s something that will take awhile to let go of within me) but instead to look at conflict differently. To look at life differently. Now I operate with the mindset that the world is a classroom. Every second is a chance to learn, every moment is a lesson. How can I learn from this? What can it teach me? Conflict is an invitation into a classroom where I can better learn about myself and the people in my life. Though an uncomfortable space for me still, I now have a desire to be present in it because I crave to learn and grow. New perspective + mindset = a chance to walk forward in grace. Reframing is literally: I am not good enough // I am struggling, but I am becoming. It’s a process, not perfection. I can’t say no to people // I need rest to better serve people. That involves saying no sometimes. I am afraid to start because of failure // Failure will happen. But how can I learn from it when it does? Bad things always happen to me // how can I better seek out gratitude, even though the hard things? For some us we literally have to say our reframed phrases out loud, over and over again to stop the train of thought our negative narratives try to capture us by. And that’s okay because that is strength, and that is you fighting back. What are some thoughts you struggle with, and how can you better reframe them? 
A few weeks ago, I had double the engagement on my Instagram account. I currently sit at 10k likes, and during this period my account was being seen and interreacted with over 20k people. I got 300 new followers in a few days and my post interaction was incredible. You what to know my secret of success? It’s probably not what you think. And that’s part of the problem with IG. People have the wrong mindsets. I see people sharing posts about how the algorithm has changed. AGAIN. How it’s out to hurt small businesses. How it hates artists. There is truth in that. But it doesn’t have to define you or your business. I was able to double my account interaction by ignoring the algorithm. It’s how I have been able to grow my account to where it’s at today. The answer? By not caring about numbers and instead pouring my passions into serving all of you. Everything I do on IG is reflective of my heart. All that I post, share, create…it’s for me and what I love. Photography, adventure, authenticity, self-awareness, relationships, my faith. It’s all my passions. What inspire me. I use 90% of IG for ME. I get refueled with sharing what I LOVE. But the trick is, you guys don’t see that. You see it as 100% for YOU. Because I use IG as an outlet to cultivate my passions around SERVING YOU. A few weeks ago I created a few reels. One of my reels that tied into my love of authenticity blew up because of it has a message your heart longed to hear and share. I created that to reflect my heart, but made it in a way that your heart could connect to. All my self-awareness posts? They are all strictly from my journey and where I am at. But I want them to speak to you. So I created images with quotes that you could share. I wanted to use details of my journey to serve you too. The algorithm exists to be a distraction. And for most people it works. But the thing every human wants? To be seen, heard, and valued. And you make those connections when you live to serve. Success is revealed when we use our passions to purposefully serve others. And THAT is how you should define yourself <3 
We have all asked or been asked this question in life: “What do you want to be when you grow up?!” How beautiful is the child-like wonder that flooded us when, as kids, we got to imagine up all the ways could become as we grew. It motivated and inspired us to look ahead and dream. Then we grew up. Somewhere it was ingrained into us that we reached the end. As children we longed to climb the ladder of age - to be older was a thing of reverence. Until it wasn’t, and age became an anchor of dread. Getting heavier as each year passed. “I am turning 30 next month. It makes me sick to think about.” Why do we lose that child-like sense of wonder? Why do we stop when we reach being “an adult?” I was reading an exert on Philippians 3:14 and this phrase called to my heart: “Look forward to what you are becoming with God.” The bible constantly tells us to have child-like faith, and to me it also beautifully ties into this quote. I have gained nothing but clarity and wisdom as I have grown. Yes there has been pain mixed in, but I don’t define myself with it. I don’t make it an anchor. Instead it’s a classroom. I think we forget that pain can be a bridge to wisdom and healing if we so chose. Because of this I am giddy with joy at what I will continue to learn as I age. Good, bad, ugly – they are lessons of becoming. Age truly is JUST a number. But the mindsets we associate it with are what break us. I look forward to what I will become with God because I am nowhere near done “growing up.” That’s what defines a lifetime. The act of growing stretches out from birth to death. It doesn’t stop when we become an adult. If you dreadfully fear over what you will become (ex. Being so scared at turning 30) you will hold on to that sense of dread through the process of becoming. A choice you inflict on yourself. Instead let go to God - let Him lead you to your potential. Be a child again, looking to grow, curiously and hopefully moving towards to that pathway. Why is age something to be so fearful of? How can you better be present in the everyday moments to learn, be curious, and find gratitude exactly where you are at? 
For so much of my life I was looking to find and be me. Something that is as easy as breathing for some has been one of the most difficult journeys for me. I have encountered people who prided themselves on it: “it’s just who I am.” I always looked up to that. Because I wanted to feel it too. But yesterday I had one of the most earth-shaking revelations. People view “finding oneself” as a fixed point to get to. The mindset is you work at it, you’ll get there, and when you do, you are unshakable in who you are. This invites ego to center stage – it tells us we finished the race. We became us. This is who we are and we don’t need to change. Finally, we won. And yet, with this perspective, I always struggled when I heard these things from people. Because of the greatest lesson I have been learning: we never stop becoming. When I hear people say “That’s just who I am,” I can’t help but think: “No. That’s who you CHOSE to be.” So, yesterday a question came to mind. One to ask others, but also to ask myself: “I know who you are, but who are you becoming?” The reality is, finding ourselves is not a fixed point. It’s a journey of watching how we change within seasons and working to become who we chose to be. Those who stay believe it fixed, are the very thing that keeps them from their potential – their purpose. “Who I am” has a feeling of “done.” “Who are you becoming” is an invitation of humbleness: we are a work in progress, we are not perfect, but we are growing - we are aware and choosing to pursue who we want to be. Instead of ego, its humility. Matthew McConaughey was once asked who his hero is, and he said this: “It's me in 10 years. So I turn 25, 10 years later, and that same person comes to me and says, 'So, are you a hero?' And I say, 'Not even close. No, no, no. My hero is me at 35.'" So I ask you, who are you becoming? Are you looking to grow in grace, be kinder, listen better? Whatever it may be, pursue it. There you will find the beginnings of your purpose 🧡 
The other day I got a message from my now ex-boyfriend offering space to talk and process our breakup. The hardest part of us ending our relationship was we both didn’t want it. But we felt God called us away to heal and, especially for me, to rediscover myself – the essence of me I lost from setting priorities wrong in that previous season. The first thing I did was reach out to my community asking for their advice and wisdom. To hold me accountable to who I am and who I said I want to be. How I value their words. Because each woman gave me a different perspective to consider. Some against my decision to talk to him, but offering no judgement. It was a chance to drop my ego and look to learn from what others see. I prayed over my decision. Invited God into every ounce of me. To be a vessel, to practice what I have been learning of being present, and not letting emotional wounds guide me. I finally found my strength and this was the perfect arena to use it. It was a classroom to learn – if I so chose. I not only wanted to share my hurt, but I wanted to hear the ways I brought on hurt. I LONGED to hear it more because it gave me a chance to learn from my mistakes. From the ways I ran away from, instead of towards. And that’s exactly what happened in the long walk we shared together. Authenticity, truth, vulnerability – the ways I have forever longed to be but was too scare to walk into because of the discomfort within. Don’t get me wrong. It was HARD. The familiarity of what once was calling me to return – but we both knew and expressed that time has not yet come. To be able to feel that freedom – the recognize the growth that has happened in the last few months. I came home and sobbed. Because I was brimming with gratitude. Things happen for a reason, there is purpose. And I could see the purpose of how God has been bettering me in this time away. The missing or love isn’t gone. The pain is still there. Oh how deep it is. But I am becoming. And I am choosing to see gratitude within it. It’s one of the most beautiful things I’ve experienced. 
If you are a photographer and are not comfortable in front of the camera, you are not serving your clients well. THERE. I SAID IT. *GASP* IT’S BLASPHEMY. But it’s true. And let’s talk about why. I have encountered so many photographers who spoke their grievances about how much they hated being in front of the camera. (I used to be one of them too) The insecurities, fears, anxiety, I could keep going. (I’ve felt it) Let me tell you something: How can you coach your couples who feel this EXACT same way, to feel comfortable, when you don’t even know what it feels like in yourself to begin with? I’ll clear something up. I don’t prefer to be in front of the camera. I don’t enjoy attention. I love and live to be in the background. But the difference lies in how I challenged myself. I used to HATE being in front of the camera. I used to be so deeply insecure. I used to hide from seeing myself. But then I realized the very nature of what I said above. How have I any right to encourage others, when I didn’t even understand it for myself? It’s like having a quiz that you didn’t study for – you don’t know the content deeply in your heart. So you go off what you’ve seen. For me, I still don’t prefer to be in front of the camera. And yet, I have grown to be comfortable because of how I pushed myself, so I could understand the people I coach and teach. To serve them to the best of my abilities. To empathize with them. You’ll never finding me being the first person to jump into a camera frame, but when I ultimately do so there is ease, comfortable, and purpose. So why are you holding yourself back? Don’t let excuses keep you from serving well. You will rob the world from the gift of you. 🧡