Today my son Ford would be 11. It's been a couple years now of the ritual of making and mailing (unaddressed and stamped) cards for him. Making and writing them gives me a chance to be present with celebrating him, and missing him. Even though my partner and daughter didn't know Ford, it means so much to me that they make cards, too. We walk to the mailbox together and send them off. Today that walk was in cool air under bright blue skies, and, because 2020, on empty streets. Then, it's back to our usual day. Memories and sadness don't pull me under as they used to. But my heart does ache. ... I spoke to @cbcnowornever last fall about this ritual of mine if you'd like to know more about it -- link in bio, as uj. ❤️ 💔 ❤️
In 2009, Mother's Day was May 10th. I know this by heart because it was two days before my son Ford's scheduled c-section. Me and my family had descended on Edmonton, Alberta, from our homes in B.C., California, New Jersey... The heart surgery Ford needed at birth wasn't possible in my Vancouver home, and I'd already been living and waiting in Alberta for over a month. Mother's Day that year was a celebration of his pending arrival, but we were tense and anxious, knowing that we'd soon enter a difficult time. We didn't know what was to come. This day will always be tied to Ford, not just because I am his mother (and his brother and sister's mother), but because it's always close to his birthday. In the years since he died, they have twice been the same day. Mother's Day is a hard day. Since my daughter was born, it hasn't become less hard, but joy has been added to it. It is a day of a lot at once. And I know it's a hard day for so many people for so many reasons. I am sending love and consolation, tenderness and comfort to those of you who are hurting, angry, grieving, numb, lonely... all of it. Celebration, recognition and appreciation, too — all of it. #morhersday #motherhood #loss #grief #makemotherhooddiverse #parenting
What luck and joy that we belong to each other.
I was delighted to be included in Al Etmanski's impactful new book The Power of Disability, and I'm delighted to be part of the concert to celebrate its launch! It's all come together in the last few days. It's wonderfully organized, which as a performer is always a treat. It's happening this Saturday on Zoom. I hope you'll join us. Tickets in bio with all proceeds going to @p.l.a.nplan
The song Rebuild is how this whole EP started. I was asked to write a song inspired by the book The Marrow Thieves by @cherie.dimaline for an episode of @amplify_tv directed by @mosaintj . My daughter was eight months old and I hadn't written a song in a over a year -- I'd also never written a song on demand -- and I wasn't sure how it would come or how it would feel. But I was so moved by the book it was easy to respond in my way. Of course now, a song about post apocalyptic survival is more relevant than I imagined at the time. I asked @jimbryson to come to Toronto and produce it -- our first time collaborating -- and we had a blast. After this one song, I decided to record more with Jim and the following summer we added the five more songs that make up Safe Harbour. Thank you to this song for being a spark. #songstory #safeharbour Safe Harbour is out now on @coaxrecords, link in bio natch
I wrote Tiptoe while on tour in 2012. Back home, my marriage was ending. On the road, I was looking for consolation and forgiveness in all the wrong places. I wrote this on an out of tune upright in a bar I can picture but a city I can't remember. I wrote this on the verge of change. ...hear Tiptoe on my new EP, Safe Harbour. Link in bio of course!
My daughter is really into horses right now, and after seeing a $150 hobby horse on Etsy, I thought I could make one! But I'm not only terrible at sewing -- I hate it. I found a pattern to knit one, but it was going to take awhile. And then, this pattern: a stuffed sock. THAT I could do! And because my prosthetic foot wears out socks so much faster than my other, I happen to have many single socks at the ready. I'm so pleased with how it turned out, and my toddler is so happy with her horse! Which is to say: we're doing fine. I feel so incredibly lucky to have a home to hide in, income still coming in, and my family safe and sound. Plus craft supplies to keep us busy. How are you coping?
Safe Harbour song story number two! I wrote Far Far Light of the Stars with a wish to keep my trans and non-binary and 2S friends safe. I wished I could carry them all to a place without violence, without the daily acts of being dehumanized and attacked. Where bright lights could not be diminished. Escape isn't possible, of course -- what we* (*me and other cis folk) urgently need to do is educate ourselves and work daily at making change. But I still wished for that far away place. ... Stream Far Far Light of The Stars on Spotify -- link in bio. Produced by @jimbryson, the song features glorious violin from Kinley Dowling, Peter von Althen on drums, and Phillipe Charbonneau on bass. Safe Harbour is out now on @coaxrecords