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๐๐๐ญ๐ฎ๐ซ๐๐ฅ ๐๐จ๐ง๐ฌ๐๐ช๐ฎ๐๐ง๐๐: โIf you donโt wear a coat outside today, you will get cold and wet, but itโs your choice.โ โฃโฃ ๐๐จ๐ ๐ข๐๐๐ฅ ๐๐จ๐ง๐ฌ๐๐ช๐ฎ๐๐ง๐๐: โIf you donโt want to wear a waterproof outer layer, then we canโt go on that hike with your friends, because I wouldnโt be able to warm you up quickly in the woods once your layers got soaked.โโฃโฃ โฃโฃ ๐๐ฎ๐ง๐ข๐ฌ๐ก๐ฆ๐๐ง๐ญ: โIf you donโt put on your coat, you get no screen time today.โโฃโฃ โฃโฃ Natural consequences occur naturally, with no intervention or action on our part. When we โuseโ natural consequences, we are simply highlighting an impending cause and effect. ๐พ๐ถ%โฃ โฃโฃ Logical consequences are connected to the concern. You are intervening, but in a way that makes sense, to prevent an unacceptable natural consequence (like permanent damage to self, others, or the environment).โฃ ๐ธ๐ถ%โฃ โฃโฃ Punishment is when you make your child suffer in the hope that it extinguishes an unwanted behavior.โฃ ๐ถ%โฃ โฃโฃ Understanding the distinction between these is important because you want to lean into natural consequences whenever humanly possible, then logical consequences when necessary, and avoid punishment altogether.โฃโฃ โฃโฃ So the next time youโre about to throw down an if/then statement on your kid, pause for one second to check in with which type of consequence you are loading. ๐๐ง ๐ช๐ตโ๐ด ๐ฏ๐ฐ๐ต ๐ฏ๐ข๐ต๐ถ๐ณ๐ข๐ญ, ๐ค๐ฉ๐ข๐ญ๐ญ๐ฆ๐ฏ๐จ๐ฆ ๐บ๐ฐ๐ถ๐ณ๐ด๐ฆ๐ญ๐ง ๐ต๐ฐ ๐ต๐ณ๐บ ๐ต๐ฐ ๐จ๐ฆ๐ต ๐ต๐ฉ๐ฆ๐ณ๐ฆ.
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Not everything needs to be contained in a box, basket, or shelf, despite what Instagramโs professional organizers and their plastic bin army might say.โฃ โฃ Sometimes a woven bin is just what you need, but itโs not always necessary. ๐๐ฆ๐ต ๐ฎ๐ช๐ฏ๐ช๐ฎ๐ข๐ญ๐ช๐ด๐ฎ ๐ฅ๐ฐ ๐ต๐ฉ๐ฆ ๐ฃ๐ถ๐ญ๐ฌ ๐ฐ๐ง ๐ต๐ฉ๐ฆ ๐ธ๐ฐ๐ณ๐ฌ ๐ง๐ฐ๐ณ ๐บ๐ฐ๐ถ.โฃ โฃ Weโve tried numerous shoe storage solutions here in our tiny foyer and the one that works best is . . . nothing. Every container only took up more space. Everyone is allowed one pair of shoes here (swapped out seasonally). Better for our use of the space, better for our wallet, and better for our planet. โฃ โฃ ๐๐๐๐ฉ ๐ข๐ญ ๐ฌ๐ข๐ฆ๐ฉ๐ฅ๐.
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Iris Chen joined me for a conversation on the Sage Family podcast today all about @untigering and itโs so goodโyou do not want to miss it. โฃโฃ โฃโฃ I wish I could give you a brief little synopsis of what we cover but honesty, I ask her about all. the. things.โฃโฃ โฃโฃ I couldnโt help it! Her journey from tiger mom to peaceful parenting and unschooling is so fascinating and her work is so important for the world to hear. Go listen! โฃโฃ โฃโฃ And then read her book, which Iโve added to the Gentle Parenting book list. She uses honest vulnerability, sharp intellect, and cultural awareness to show us all how to shift the cultural tide within us away from the oppression of children (and the oppression of our own authentic selves). This book is a truly refreshing and inspiring lens for the gentle parenting and unschooling journey.
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I could not love this quote from @untigering any harder. I know sheโs writing about parenting and unschooling, but Iโve been putting the finishing touches on my new Sage Money class and itโs the perfect exclamation point for all the work I do advocating for an intentional way of life.