Getting ready for a Friday #juneteenth ritual honoring black lives with divine incense from @unitedother
Listening. Black lives matter.
Fear is a theme that’s come up a lot this week with the worldwide spread of the coronavirus. So often we don’t recognize our own fear but just unconsciously react to it by trying to change or control our external circumstances. This alleviates momentary suffering but doesn’t allow us to face our fear, and build stability, courage, and a safe harbor within us. When we react to fear in our relationships, it looks like that push-pull dance Charlotte Kasl is referring to. If instead we can recognize that we are afraid, we can turn towards our fearful part-that small wounded child within us-and be with it. We can give compassion to ourselves and come to a place of understanding and peace so that we can respond to the person and situation at hand wisely, rather than reacting out of fear. During this crazy time in the world, many of us are feeling fear. Ask yourself where your fear is causing you to react - in relationships, in certain settings - anywhere you notice yourself being reactive and controlling towards an outside circumstance. See if you can pull back, turn towards the fear, and give it compassion. Talk to and treat yourself and your fear the way you would a child or a pet. See if you can find a bit of respite in self-kindness.
Lavender lattes, German practice, movie nights, and gluten-free desserts, oh my! Date idea: Check our @mauerparksf with your date for a movie night, cowork with your bf, or have a glass of #bier or #wein for #happyhour at this cute little neighborhood spot near Dolores Park. Better yet, order a German picnic basket for a park date with your date. Check @mauerparksf event schedule for upcoming events or just show up anytime for delicious food and local coffee and bevvies.
Happy Valentine’s Day! Today: treat yo-self. Single or coupled, you deserve love, kindness, nurturing, and nourishment. It’s commonly said that the happiest people are those in good romantic relationships, the next happiest are people who are not in romantic relationships, and the least happy are people in bad relationships. Research shows that the quality of our relationships impacts our health and happiness far more than simply having a relationship; in other words having a partner isn’t the key to happiness but having quality relationships is. Invest in your relationship with yourself and in your skills and abilities to have quality relationships with others...through self-compassion, mindfulness, therapy, mentoring, and personal growth. If you don’t have plans tonight, let this be your reminder to have a date night with yourself and invest in these. If you need a little extra support, check out the upcoming 8 week book club and support group I’m hosting that integrates mindfulness and practical skills for relating (link in bio). And, take yourself or your partner for a date at the sweet independently owned (fairly) new spot in the mission @foragerspresent Buy yourself or your friend an @homesick candle to remind them of your love and snack on charcuterie while sipping wine or (the best part) share a a mindful moment over non-alcoholic cocktails! For those @seedlipsocial fans, this new spot is a place to source your @seedlipdrinks #humanconnection #intimacy #reallifedating #valentinesday
Date idea: visit the new @dandelionchocolate cafe, walk the factory catwalk, brunch it up or have an afternoon wine or tea in the cafe...and don’t forget to taste some delicious chocolate in the tasting section.
Let’s be honest - defining our boundaries and finding our center can be hard - whether dating, talking to friends or coworkers, or relating to our partner in an established romantic relationship. It’s essential to remind ourselves that doing so is a practice, and to be compassionate with ourselves when we get a little off balance. I’m excited to explore this concept and others in community in the upcoming 12 week process group based on the profound little book - “If the Buddha Dated” by Charlotte Kasl. Join us for a weekly meditation, followed by therapy tools, playfulness, and deep discussion. Link in bio!
Gift idea! Support local artists and stop by the sweet stand @fridacatloart near the ferry building any Thursday, Friday, or Saturday. Meet Simone, the talented and friendly artist who paints her lifelong inspirations with lots of color and sparkle. DM her to see if she’ll be there, and pick up a bag or art piece for all the cat lovers, Frida lovers, and strong women you know.
Date idea: get breathy together. Try a blindfolded breathwork class to an awesome playlist @open.meditation After class, socialize, drink tea and charcoal-filtered water (the only other photo I got), and eat berries and chocolate together.