• I’ve felt a heaviness the last two weeks I haven’t been able to name. But I know I can pinpoint the epicenter. It was seeing a video of a man out for a jog gunned down and thinking for just a split second “there has to be more to the story”. I ran with thousands of other people on a Friday and I saw my tiny son sleeping in his stroller as I ran the 2.23 mile course through our neighborhood. The words of Beyoncé’s “Freedom” blared through my headphones, added as a pump up song on my running playlist, and I immediately broke down in tears. And that phrase “maybe there’s more to the story” has haunted me since because I know there wasn’t... I’ve had the conversations. I’ve read the books. I’m doing the work. And I still don’t feel like I’m equipped enough to even hold space in this conversation. What I do know is after watching the events that have unfolded in front of us the last few weeks in vivid gory detail I’ve felt paralyzed. I’ve felt aimless and unmotivated and disgusted and helpless and angry and confused and protective and just drained. I’ve felt those feelings for two weeks. And just now, in a conversation with a trusted, dear friend I typed the words “I just can’t imagine living with that feeling my whole life” Her response: “I’m learning that is the point”.
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    I’ve felt a heaviness the last two weeks I haven’t been able to name. But I know I can pinpoint the epicenter. It was seeing a video of a man out for a jog gunned down and thinking for just a split second “there has to be more to the story”. I ran with thousands of other people on a Friday and I saw my tiny son sleeping in his stroller as I ran the 2.23 mile course through our neighborhood. The words of Beyoncé’s “Freedom” blared through my headphones, added as a pump up song on my running playlist, and I immediately broke down in tears. And that phrase “maybe there’s more to the story” has haunted me since because I know there wasn’t... I’ve had the conversations. I’ve read the books. I’m doing the work. And I still don’t feel like I’m equipped enough to even hold space in this conversation. What I do know is after watching the events that have unfolded in front of us the last few weeks in vivid gory detail I’ve felt paralyzed. I’ve felt aimless and unmotivated and disgusted and helpless and angry and confused and protective and just drained. I’ve felt those feelings for two weeks. And just now, in a conversation with a trusted, dear friend I typed the words “I just can’t imagine living with that feeling my whole life” Her response: “I’m learning that is the point”.
  • Mixing it up a bit with Social Sessions this month 🎉 *Usually* I have specific spots for them but due to a few special circumstances, I’ve got room for two more this month!! You can find more info in stories!! This shot from a past Social Session for @charlestonblonde at @darling_oyster_bar
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    Mixing it up a bit with Social Sessions this month 🎉 *Usually* I have specific spots for them but due to a few special circumstances, I’ve got room for two more this month!! You can find more info in stories!! This shot from a past Social Session for @charlestonblonde at @darling_oyster_bar
  • This week I got one of the highest complements I believe possible as a photographer. And while I’m the worst at accepting compliments this one gave me major feels. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ I shared images with a friend from a quick farm day shoot, and her response to a handful of images I sent over was “They’re making me cry. They’re honest”. I was stunned. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Since then, I’ve done a bit of soul searching to figure out where that comes from, how it’s possible to convey an emotion I value so much in just a fraction of a second while chasing kids through a potato field. Why dirt covered hands gripping a farm basket full of potatoes juxtaposed by bright colored friendship bracelets made an impact. I may have just realized it’s what I value most in my work. And I cultivated it during my years as a wedding photographer. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Want to know the secret? 🤣 It’s not camera settings. Or gear choice. Or even lighting. Though all of those are huge pieces of the final image. The most important thing (in my opinion) is mental agility. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ It’s taking in everything around you, doing the math in your head, getting yourself in the right spot, and predicting the moment while nailing all of the technical pieces by muscle memory. It’s being able to know what’s going to happen before it does, how a body is going to move, and being able to get the shot even if things are falling apart around you. It’s having the technical skills DOWN so when the moment happens you can document it while having the freedom to make creative decision. Knowing the image is shot correctly. Being technical but also flexible and shooting in a way that still feels like YOU even when the pressure is on. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Maybe to you that sounds like a whimsical foreign language. But right now, it feels like a super power!!! 🔥
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    This week I got one of the highest complements I believe possible as a photographer. And while I’m the worst at accepting compliments this one gave me major feels. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ I shared images with a friend from a quick farm day shoot, and her response to a handful of images I sent over was “They’re making me cry. They’re honest”. I was stunned. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Since then, I’ve done a bit of soul searching to figure out where that comes from, how it’s possible to convey an emotion I value so much in just a fraction of a second while chasing kids through a potato field. Why dirt covered hands gripping a farm basket full of potatoes juxtaposed by bright colored friendship bracelets made an impact. I may have just realized it’s what I value most in my work. And I cultivated it during my years as a wedding photographer. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Want to know the secret? 🤣 It’s not camera settings. Or gear choice. Or even lighting. Though all of those are huge pieces of the final image. The most important thing (in my opinion) is mental agility. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ It’s taking in everything around you, doing the math in your head, getting yourself in the right spot, and predicting the moment while nailing all of the technical pieces by muscle memory. It’s being able to know what’s going to happen before it does, how a body is going to move, and being able to get the shot even if things are falling apart around you. It’s having the technical skills DOWN so when the moment happens you can document it while having the freedom to make creative decision. Knowing the image is shot correctly. Being technical but also flexible and shooting in a way that still feels like YOU even when the pressure is on. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Maybe to you that sounds like a whimsical foreign language. But right now, it feels like a super power!!! 🔥
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