When Peter suggested that I take horse riding lessons again, I laughed out loud! Let’s just say I’m not as nimble as I was when I was 13, and haven’t done a squat since about then too. For some reason, I had it in my head that because I’m an “adult” now (which is clearly debatable), I don’t have time to do fun things for myself. But that is some serious BS, and I wanted to remind everyone out there over the age of 25, that we are allowed to do fun shit, laugh like we’re 12, and forget we have kids (if you have kids) for like an hour a week. Just for the record, I’m still sore after three days and it was SO WORTH IT. I highly suggest picking up a fun new (or old) hobby in your mid thirties or mid seventies for that matter. So spill it! What have you thought about doing recently? Hip hop classes, an art course, becoming a sex therapist? Ain’t no judgment here!
We get asked a lot if we like living here. And I know some people don’t. They just can’t seem to adapt. The truth is, it’s different from what most are used to. But that’s what we love about it. Millions of people converging from all corners of the earth (so needless to say, every conversation is new and interesting). Everyone eats unique food and has vastly contrasting backgrounds...yet we all have a common language. And THAT is what breaks down barriers. Suddenly when you can communicate, there’s really nothing you can’t work out (or laugh about). So to answer the question, I love it here. And I love that Popcorn and Pompom are growing up in a place that values diversity and understanding. (But I don’t like dust and big spiders, so life apparently can’t be entirely perfect.) #iloveithere
Oh, grief. You show up on the phone with a stranger at the bank. And when someone I’ve never met, showed insurmountable kindness with a gesture of love. Or inconveniently at dinner. You always guarantee to bring out the ugly cry. Which is probably why I try to avoid you at all costs. But what makes this different, is that the grief is not from loss, but impending loss. And oddly the pain is just as real, but with a confusing twist. Death is the one guaranteed thing in this life, yet it always comes as a shock. Apparently nothing prepares your heart for such permanent change. I’ve had this “anticipatory” grief for 15 years now, which kinda just makes me sound dramatic. The mere thought of losing my grandma (who is 96 and doing as well as can be expected) has crippled me more times than I’m willing to admit on IG. Watching someone you love so purely, slowly fade away (while across the world), well, it fucking sucks. And it’s beautiful in a weird way. And terrifying. And just really, really sad. And it also means that I’ve experienced love in a way that many don’t. I’ve been lucky enough to say all the “unsaid” things... But I’m afraid. Of not knowing where to turn. Or if I’ll have the answers or encouragement, that for now, still show up in my email. Or that I’ll be lost in this big, scary world for good. Yet when I’m still, I know the answer. What we had, we will always have. What we were, we always are. So I’ll take it. All of it. Because this love thing is pretty cool when you fully let it in.
I need your help, mom friends! What keeps you from booking your own family photos? Is it that you don’t really care? You don’t feel photo ready EVER? You hate leaving the house (wait, I think I’m projecting here)?😂 You only “officially” do your hair 2x year and you’re not sure photos are worth the effort? Tell me ALL the reasons! Merci! #helpasisterout #familyphotos #lazymoms #photographermom 📸 @meghan_kelly_images
Parenting really just translates into constant negotiations with small people who are un afraid to lose. #pleasesendhelp
Thanks to @fairy_equestrian Peter and I now know what a VSCO girl is (I thought it was a preset they use on IG photos). WRONG. We now know it’s super uncool to leave someone “unread,” which I agree, it’s super uncool. That Birkenstock’s ARE cool again, along with SCRUNCHIES (which I’m really excited about)! And we also subsequently realized that WE ARE UNCOOL, because we are SO out of the loop, but the girls still like us so we’re happy (for now). And Pompom basically walked and talked to this beautiful horse who seemed to be totally ok being bossed around. #uncoolparents #vscogirl #uncoolmom #welovehorses #ponyclub #photographermom
There I was. On a flight to Moscow with a guy I basically had spoken to for a total of 60 minutes. One of two things was going to happen on this trip. 1. I would be kidnapped and killed on the first day. 2. I would have the best two weeks of my life. My mind was racing. What if this dude was a total predator?! But only after two days, I felt like I had known him forever. “Soooo, this is probably going to come off like the creepiest cliche thing to do, but before this trip I set up four blind dates with Russian women I met online. And I thought I could do it without anyone knowing, but well, Tweety, you got your ass into this mess, so I figured you are coming with me.” I sat there stunned. I don’t think I could have dreamed of a more epic conversation to be having with another human being. “And I told you, where I go, you go, so what do you think? Please don’t judge me.” Are you kidding me?! To bear witness to multiple international blind dates IN Russia? Does life get better than this? Of course, he hadn’t told any of these women that his “niece” would be joining them on the date (petty details)...FYI confused and suspicious Russian supermodels are kinda scary. No offense to anyone. Most of them loosened up and we chatted about love, life, politics, war, I kicked him when he called one by the other one’s name, and cringed when he told them his big dreams to sell his house, open an airfield in the middle of nowhere and live in a trailer. “I’m just testing them, Tweety.” We met one gorgeous woman who took us to the Russian ballet and to salsa festivities at 2am on some river I still don’t know the name of, where I found myself being twirled around by a 4 foot tall drunk gentleman to a Brittany Spears love ballad. And we laughed. A lot. Gary and I ended up forming a friendship on that trip that carried on for many years. Because of his wisdom, humor and mutual appreciation for adventure, I feel like I learned to be less afraid of the world. So if you know anyone who’s single and needs someone to help them arrange and facilitate dates in the former USSR, I’m available for the small price of proper Russian vodka and a good laugh.
This is me fake laughing at Peter. So we’ve had this debate and I am curious where you fall on the parenting spectrum. Please vote in the comments. You are: A) Totally winging this whole parenting thing and I’m pretty sure someone is going to find out and send me to parenting boot camp. B) Nailing it about 55% of the time, which is pretty ok in my book. C) I got this parenting shit figured out! Thanks, friends. Whoever wins gets to sit on their ass while the other one does laundry. I’m counting on you! #votingtime
Who’s up for “WTF Friday?” A series documenting the epic parenting/life fails of my lifetime. Stories that will leave you saying, “WTF?!” An abbreviation that seems fitting (since I say it like 6274 times a day and I’m only six). This is an oldie but goodie from our time in Budapest as told by me, Popcorn (the normal one). A few years ago mom and dad noticed a tree thingy outside the door to the apartment. Ok, it wasn't directly in front of OUR door, but the configuration of the floor could confuse the smartest of intellectuals. The plant stood outside the neighbor's place (if you want to get technical) for two days before dad asked mom, hey, do you think my parents left that plant for us? Mom wasn't sure, but noted there was a gold ribbon around the bottom, which she thought seemed odd. “Uh, why wouldn’t they have left it in front of OUR door?” Another day passed and dad said, that's definitely my old plant. It used to be in my old apartment. Are you sure? asked mom. Absolutely, I remember it! So mom and dad brought in the plant to set up in our new place. The following day, we all ran into the building manager who politely asked dad if we happened to know where the plant was that was left on our floor. Dad kindly explained that we assumed it was ours, since it resembled one he had owned TWO years prior. The lady awkwardly laughed and told us that it was a gift for the spouse/family of the lady who died IN the apartment next door. She eventually said we could keep it since we had stolen it anyway. Dad seriously makes me die laughing every day and I wouldn't trade him for any other dad in the whole wide world. #facepalm
Aniston here. Once upon a time, mom bought Pompom and I some cups to keep us occupied on a two hour flight, and we were obsessed! The problem is, we BOTH wanted to play with them. You can guess what ensued. Insert dad (in Hungarian). Apu: Hi, I'm really sorry, would you mind grabbing that cup under your seat? Jerky drunk dude with epic gold chain: No! You think I'm going to pick up after your stupid children? Apu: Uh. Ok. No problem. (Reaches awkwardly underneath the dude's seat.) Jerk: (Starts saying something nasty that apu refuses to translate). Apu: It's really ok, no would have been a sufficient answer. Mom warned apu to not turn his back to this man, because she felt really uneasy and knew (without question) that he was GOING seek revenge for apu’s calm/condensing attitude. Sure enough, jerky dude is the first up after we land and proceeds to pull his bag down onto apu's head, which misses and hits his butt instead. Jerk gets upset. Insert mom. She may (or may not...but mostly, may) have given this dude the most epic “don’t f’ with me face” from the depths of hell, and drop a few f-bombs she learned in prison (a story for another day). Of course, jerk would not make eye contact with mom, but then whispered dad he was going to push her down the stairs onto the tarmack (thank you, low budget airlines). Little did he know he was messing with 'Merica (and little did mom know how much dating all those military dudes back in her 20's ACTUALLY influenced her vocabulary). Mom also very much realizes that her colorful language DID NOT help the situation. Apu: Well, at least you never run out of IG material!! A few take aways from our experience. 1. Some people are just miserable human beings, don't take it personally. 2. The other 98% of the population is incredibly nice and reasonable and will come to your defense. 3. Mom is slightly more ghetto fab than anyone realized previously. And also apparently has apu's back East County Style. 4. Alcohol and nasty attitudes don't mix! 5. Letting go is the best medicine! Question: What would you have done in this situation? Cuz mom lost her ever loving shit! #momwentcrazy