Like, have you ever stopped to really, really, really think about what you WANT to do every day of your entire fucking life? I don’t mean what you’ve thought about doing, or what you’d be good at, or what makes sense, or what you know. I am talking about what you ACTUALLY WANT. As in, WANT. Have you? Because so many of us haven’t. So many of us don’t even know ourselves well enough to be able to answer this question with any conviction. We are going through the motions of life and work and we’re barely bumbling through it all and none of us have any time to even THINK. Or ponder. Or explore. Or get curious. We’re all in some giant, made-up rush to get somewhere with our “careers,” even if we hate the god damn thing. But I gotta say—it is sooooo worth the time, sitting with yourself, and thinking about what you’d want to do if nothing else were a consideration. Stop overthinking it! You don’t have to run out and be irresponsible and act rashly, but giving yourself a minute to imagine what your life might look like if you were able to overcome those challenges—THAT is worth it. It’s the only way you’ll ever start to figure out what you do want, instead of what you merely don’t mind. There’s a real big difference. PS I love you, happy Friday, drink a glass of wine, and relaxxxxx.
Work, above all, should be FUN. I don’t believe in the whole, “work is supposed to be hard, that’s why they call it work” business. That might have been true once, but it’s not true anymore. Today if you don’t love your work, you’re doing it wrong. . . Last leg of this book manuscript before Penguin takes it and PARTIES. 🎉
Working on a massive deadline to finish edits on this book (!!!) and figured I’d get the largest cup of coffee I could find, which just happens to have the loveliest message written on it. I WILL NOT BE TAMED, BITCHES. 😘 Hope you’re having a great Monday that isn’t filled with annoying people who suck your brains.
Ladies: DO NOT LET THEM MONEY SHAME YOU. This is a topic that has been blowing RIGHT up my skirt lately. That women are shamed for wanting money—as if this is a bad thing. We're shamed for charging it, for thinking about it, and for daring to create something that we—brace yourselves, folks—*want money for, in exchange.* 🙈 There’s this unspoken code of conduct that comes with being a woman, it seems, which says that you are supposed to give selflessly, sacrifice, and always put others first. Just think about all of the reasons that moms are traditionally praised: “she gives everything for those kids,” “she never asks for anything in return,” “she sacrifices so much,” “she is such a good mom.” Ditto when it comes to the workplace. “She's always there early, and always stays late!” 😵 We’ve been told our entire lives that being a good mother, good wife, good woman is to GIVE—which is probably why it feels so unnatural to take. Not just for us, but for the people around us. They see you stepping out of that narrative, and daring to ask for more, for your value, for your worth (eewwwww! so dirttttyyy!) and it makes them…angry. 👿 She’s full of herself, they say. She’s got some nerve. 👿 Which, by the way, is the exact very thing most women are TERRIFIED other people are thinking of them. It paralyzes women all over the world, that fear: that another person might think that they think too highly of themselves. Andthisistheworstthingintheworld. It is mortifying. It means we’re “too much.” It means we’re stupid. It means we’re vain and greedy and self-seeking. And that maybe other people are right about us. That we have no business starting businesses, or charging money, or thinking our ideas are worth it. 😭 [Link in bio to finish reading because #longrant: https://www.themiddlefingerproject.org/ladies-do-not-let-them-money-shame-you/] #girlboss #dowhatyoulove #moneymindset #businesswoman
Daydreaming about of all the Scottish pubs I’m going to frequent this summer when I’m there for six whole weeks, beaming about the fact that my white-ass skin finally makes sense somewhere. 😉 Last year a reader sent me A DEED FOR A TINY, ADORABLE PIECE OF LAND IN SCOTLAND as a thank you present, which was obviously the best gift ever and I can’t wait to go visit it! Such a fun business concept with a focus on conservation. (Maybe I can start selling deeds to the TMF website? HAHAHA.) Lookout, world, because when I come back I am not only going to be a writer, but a jewelry designer. 😈 💍
Here is me cheersing the fuck out of you on a Tuesday at lunch—revision round of book submitted to Penguin at 5:43am this morning, baby!!!!!!!! 💪🏻💪🏻💪🏻 ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ See also: this weekend I fly to Philly, and on Tuesday I close on the apartment. 🥳 2019, I see you, boo! #philly #phillywriters #authorsofinstagram
I recently read a study that showed that not being able to predict what will happen next is actually more stressful than *knowing* that something bad is DEFINITELY going to happen. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ First I thought: Well that's fucked up. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Then I thought: could that be why so many strong women stay in relationships with toxic spouses? Because even though she knows he will beat her, physically or emotionally, those negative consequences are somehow less painful than the uncertainty that comes with having to start over again? ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ It seems that we're hardwired to prefer absolutes, even when they produce less desirable outcomes. But it might be worth considering: are your preferences worth your dignity? ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ #confidence #selfconfidence #goals #love #motivation #selflove #happy #instagood #life #loveyourself #beautiful #happiness #inspiration #confidenceiskey #women #success #strong #wednesdaywisdom #wednesdaymotivation