You’re either a person who won’t be stopped, or a person who will be. You pick.
As much as I wish I were being queened up right now, I’m actually aboard an airplane lookin’ like A WHOLE LOTTA DEATH, considering my alarm went off at 3am this morning. 😂 On my way from PHL > SJO hoping I make it through the storm that’s hitting New Orleans. With my luck though, I’ll end up stranded in Fort Lauderdale, spending the evening stuck next to some old man named Bob who made his money brokering yachts and wears tropical prints unironically and “doesn’t understand the gays.” 🙄
Last week, I surprised my friend Chelsea with a surprise makeover and photoshoot here in Philadelphia. 💅🏻📷Bright coral dress, check. Hair stylist at 8am, check. Makeup artist at 9am, check. Photographer who walked around with us, making her feel like a million bucks, check! It was such a fun day, dedicated *exclusively* to making her feel like a queen. 👑 ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ I did this, not because I'm a vain monster diva who thinks that looks are everything and *kiss kiss, dahling*, and Gucci this and Gucci that. Kill me now. (And also, Gucci reminds me of The Jersey Shore—IT'S CALLED CHANEL, MOTHERFUCKERS.) Rather, I did this because there is something to be said about a woman who walks into a room and OWNS IT. She takes up space. She commands respect. She has her own opinions. She knows her own mind. She's charismatic and elegant and powerful and fierce. And most of all, she does not shrink. Too many of us shrink when we walk in the room. We become small. We hide ourselves. We clutch our purses and cross our arms over our tummies and laugh fake laughs and avert our eyes. We stand awkwardly, and we act politely and we say superficial things because we are afraid of being judged for what we really think and want and mean. We're hoping not to be seen. But you know what changes when you get somebody into a room with a team of makeup artists and hair stylists and wardrobe designers and brilliant photographers? The entire POINT is to be seen. For us to honor them, and care for them, and help them, and really SEE them. What seems like the most narcissistic thing in the world actually turns into one of the most loving. The entire day is about making them feel confident and happy and joyful. The entire day is about making them feel capable and powerful and red hot and fuck yes. And sometimes, giving a woman permission to show up like she owns the goddamn place? ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Is exactly what she needed to show up for herself.
Fuck it. I'm claiming today as my birthday, too. 😈 And you know what I'm doing today? ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ 1️⃣Pouring extra vanilla creamer into my coffee. 2️⃣Cozying up on my new sofa. (CAN YOU BELIEVE WE GOT IT THROUGH THE WINDOW?) 3️⃣Putting on British architecture shows on in the background. (The usual.) 4️⃣And working on my top-secret new side hustle! Because this is how I create joy: by *creating*. (Just wait until I show you what I've been up to. It's completely unrelated to The Middle Finger Project, and a great example of how you can build an online business out of ANYTHING.) ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ You working on any new side hustles? Fill me in! 👇🏻👇🏻👇🏻 I wanna hear!
I’M 35 FUCKING YEARS OLD TODAY 🎉 and you know what? I have never been more sure that there’s no reward for being the most sensible person in the room. I’d rather be the most iridescent. 💥 #livingmybestlife
Like, have you ever stopped to really, really, really think about what you WANT to do every day of your entire fucking life? I don’t mean what you’ve thought about doing, or what you’d be good at, or what makes sense, or what you know. I am talking about what you ACTUALLY WANT. As in, WANT. Have you? Because so many of us haven’t. So many of us don’t even know ourselves well enough to be able to answer this question with any conviction. We are going through the motions of life and work and we’re barely bumbling through it all and none of us have any time to even THINK. Or ponder. Or explore. Or get curious. We’re all in some giant, made-up rush to get somewhere with our “careers,” even if we hate the god damn thing. But I gotta say—it is sooooo worth the time, sitting with yourself, and thinking about what you’d want to do if nothing else were a consideration. Stop overthinking it! You don’t have to run out and be irresponsible and act rashly, but giving yourself a minute to imagine what your life might look like if you were able to overcome those challenges—THAT is worth it. It’s the only way you’ll ever start to figure out what you do want, instead of what you merely don’t mind. There’s a real big difference. PS I love you, happy Friday, drink a glass of wine, and relaxxxxx.
Work, above all, should be FUN. I don’t believe in the whole, “work is supposed to be hard, that’s why they call it work” business. That might have been true once, but it’s not true anymore. Today if you don’t love your work, you’re doing it wrong. . . Last leg of this book manuscript before Penguin takes it and PARTIES. 🎉