Anxiety is rearing her ugly head right now, and it’s been building up pretty bad the last couple of days. I am in the single-digits now before my weight loss surgery, and I’m in this weird anxious state of fear and mourning. The surgery itself is scary, but that’s not exactly what I’m afraid of (although let’s be honest: surgery is always scary and risky). I’m afraid of the change – of not being able to go out and grab an ice cream with my kids after a hard day of yard work, or enjoy a beer while BBQing dinner. I’m afraid of never being able to go to a theme park again, and enjoy some deliciously terrible-for-me food because it’s part of the experience. I’m anxious that I’m going to be hangry and mean to my family because I get a bit grumpy when hungry. There’s a deep dread in my soul that I’m being super selfish and that my family is going to be angry with me, because life is going to change pretty drastically for me and for them, by extension. In other words: my anxiety is playing mind games with me, and it’s scary the crap out of me. 😖 So! I am going to turn the tables and think about the positive and stop psyching myself out and continue to work on my mental health. Since we are in the final countdown before my weight loss surgery on June 30th, I wanted to share all the reasons why I am doing this. Weight loss surgery is something I’m entirely grateful for, not only because it’s going to save my life but because it’s going to give me my life back. What do I mean by that? Well, when you’re an overweight person, there are things that we experience that others can some times take for granted. And rightfully so; everyone should be free of these kinds of experiences and feelings. Head to my blog to read the 50 things I’m looking forward to after VSG surgery … and hear my prayer request for these next few days. 🙏 
Spent fathers day with the farm daddy building a duck pond. It’s not finished yet since we got rained out … but the ducks were stoked anyway and hopped right in! 🥰 #ourhappyhobbyfarm 
Jingle Bell literally was eating her food as it poured out of the bag today, like it was a package of skittles. Just messier. 😂 She’s so sweet but man is she a hot mess. I came out today to find her covered head to toe in mud, and she had busted the CEMENTED IN post that held in the big fencing. 😳 Tomorrow we are going to install a water nipple with piping to see if we can reduce the amount of water mess she is making by dumping out her water every couple of hours. 😒 I wish we had a scale to see how much she weighs. She’s gotta be 400 pounds by now. 😂 #ourhappyhobbyfarm #jinglebellthepig #duroc #durocpigs #pigmom 
Yesterday I got to hang out with @liliv.sobczak and celebrate her recent graduation from high school. It was AMAZING, y’all. She is an incredible young woman, with a bright future ahead of her. Whether she becomes a veterinarian, a business woman, an ASL teacher or a million other things - she’s one of the reasons the future looks so bright. 🥰 Congratulations Lili!! 👩🎓 #classof2021 #westoshacentralhighschool #wisconsinseniorphotographer #seniorgirl #ashleydurhamseniors #ashleydurhamphotography #seniorphotos 
Tonight I was doing a senior session for an amazing young woman named Liliana, and while I was there, I ran into another photographer. Now, when I lived in Colorado Springs, whenever I would run into another photographer on a session, it was custom to yell out “McChicken!” to each other … no I have no idea how that tradition got started, but I knew it was a calling card for anybody that was part of a local photography group that I was in for the area (heyyy #denverphotobetties love you guys, miss you!! 🥰). Of course, I did not yell out the friendly phrase to this other photographer but I did wave, LOL. It was just a really interesting moment that felt like a warm hug back to the photography industry, seeing someone else on site, and celebrating community over competition. So if you were the photographer that had a crazy lady with a big messy bun, wearing a Wisconsin Badgers shirt, photographing a beautiful senior girl at White River County Park, waving at you … That was me. 😂 Anyway, I can’t wait to show you the magic from tonight. 🥰 We didn’t get any sun, and we did get some rain, but it was still absolutely perfect in every way. #ashleydurhamphotography #wisconsinseniorphotographer #communityovercompetition 
Went to put the farm to bed, walked around the corner and almost peed my pants laughing. 😂 Mocha got his head stuck in the chicken feeder, totally caught red handed. 😂 Don’t worry, he was totally fine and I got him out with ease. Maybe a little embarrassed, but fine. 😂 Hopefully this means Mocha might stay out of the chicken food from now on, but I doubt it. 😂 #ourhappyhobbyfarm #nigeriandwarfgoats #goatmom #nigeriandwarfgoat 
Mazikeen is feeling all kinds of #pride this month. 🌈 #greatpyrenees #greatpyreneesanatolianshepard #ally #lgbtqally #puppiesofinstagram #ourhappyhobbyfarm #pridemonth2021 
When you see the LIGHT. ✨ Sometimes you just gotta squat and lean, lay down or just get in the freakin’ lake. 😂 Thanks to @lovelydayweddingsandevents for snapping these of me at yesterday’s wedding. It always makes me giggle to see myself in action, because when I’m in the zone - I’M IN THE ZONE. 😂 #behindthescenes #weddingBTS #weddingphotography #wisconsinweddingphotographer 
Note to self: STOP BOOKING 6am FLIGHTS. 😂 I don’t know why I do this to myself, but I do - and it’s the worst. Especially the day after weddings - wedding hangovers plus like no sleep and NO COFFEE … y’all. I’m a mess. 😂 Worth it, though. Yesterday’s wedding was incredible! Luckily I only have 2 more destination weddings left this year (and no more planned because I’m focusing on being local to SE Wisconsin) … and I definitely won’t be booking the crack’o’dawn flights. Oh, who am I kidding - yes I will. 😂 #flysouthwest @southwestair #viewfrommywindow #sunriseintheair #flightphotography #travelgram 
Waking up at 4am, flying across the country, getting stuck with the worst car rental experience I’ve ever had, and feeling like I just stepped into a sauna was 100% worth moments like THIS. 🥰 Y’all. 👏👏👏 I can’t even. I’m so blessed to be back into my calling. 🙏 #wisconsinweddingphotographer #lakewedding