TW: restrictive eating . . . . . . As a teen I engaged in extreme restriction. I began dabbling from about the age of 10, but then it really kicked off around 15. I ticked a lot of high risk-factor boxes. I was sensitive and smart, yet had low self-worth, and poor emotional coping skills. I was a idealistic, a perfectionist and a people-pleaser. I hit puberty early; a risk factor for girls in a society obsessed with women staying small. I had an extensive family history of disordered eating, depression, and suicide. BUT, I am thankful that I did have at least one major protective factor. I wanted to be a therapist. Honestly, that was it. So I told myself that I needed another place to put my pain. It couldn’t go there because “there is no such thing as an anorexic therapist”, I told myself. So I started digging myself out of that hole....but that was a scary thing. What would people say if I just started eating again? I’d be called a fake? Told I’d been faking it for attention? I’d be dismissed as a silly, vain girl, who couldn’t handle my feelings? Most importantly, if looked and seemed better; no one would believe just how bad I felt. I feared that every single day would be a new slap in the face, of how silly, insignificant, and unimportant I really was. These were my fears as I chose recovery. __________ Looking back, I won’t say that those fears were entirely unfounded. The world and people can be unkind. And still, all of that has nothing to do with my or your worth, or the validity of your experiences. I feared for a long time that I was just “a failed anorexic”, that I’d been “not really that sick”, that I’d been “just faking it”. What I know now and practice reminding myself is that my pain was and still is valid, with or without the disordered eating. Yours is too. We all have a different path and I hope that your path can lead you to a place of more kindness, compassion, and validation. The world may not be the giver of that, you may have to learn to give it yourself. Which really, is the biggest lesson of all I suppose? #thehaeshypnotherapist #anorexianervosarecovery #mentalhealth #youarevalid 
Let me procrastinate doing the SECOND LAST ASSIGNMENT of my degree, whilst I take photos of Astral wrapped in blanket on my hypnotherapy recliner 😂😍❤️ #thehaeshypnotherapist #procrastination #cat #catsofinstagram #hypnocat 
This week in the Facebook group (link in bio), we’re talking about secret eating. Because disordered eating is so often kept alive with secrets. Because disordered eating is so often kept alive by shame. Because when we unveil our secrets, we lose something. We lose what wasn’t really true anyway. We lose who we were when we still had our secret. We move into a new possibility. #thehaeshypnotherapist #secrets #mentalhealth #secreteating #eatingdisorderrecovery #supportgroup