Do you feel like there’s some distance between us?... . It’s so weird isn’t it? We ‘know’ each other on this platform but how well do we really know each other honestly? . I’m going to take the blame for that, I’ve been on and off of social media for a while now it lately I’ve come to realise more about using this platform to support our well-being and each other and I’d like us to be more than just ‘insta-aquaintances’ so at the risk of feeling 7 years old - can we be friends? . Hey I’m Kiki! I live in an actual real tiny town in the Cotswolds U.K. (it’s easy to think we exist in squares isn’t it 😆) it’s the kind of town where you can walk down the street and people wave and remember you by name (even the local butcher, postman, shop keeper!) and I love how friendly it is but I haven’t always - I was super worried about moving back here after living in London for so long because it felt like a step backwards. . I went to school here I remember hanging out at the local youth club misspending my time with boys way older than me and sampling alco-pops on street corners. A part of me wanted to leave this small town for years so I didn’t ever see myself coming back after being immersed in big city living. But then my little Yvie happened and life became more about creating and enjoying the small moments instead of chasing the big goals and the best place to slow and do that - well it seems to be here in our little country cottage. . How about you? Did you ever have any hesitations about living where you are now? Have you ever moved back somewhere you never thought you would? . . .
I used to hate Sundays - it meant Monday was grind day when I worked in a corporate office. But I absolutely love them now. . Sunday’s are ritually family day and my tiny although currently under the weather, is now at the age where I can take her out, hold a conversation and have a really bloody lovely time. But Sunday’s also the day where I review my last week, write a new list for the new week and go to bed happily knowing I know just when and where to start tomorrow. I didn’t have this feeling when I didn’t have the freedom to design my days and truthfully i don’t think I’ve ever fully embraced that choice until this past six months or so but with choice came the decision to cut my work and if that means getting a little more organised with a 15 minute ritual on a Sunday so I wake up (read: am woken up by a tiger of a toddler!) feeling proactive rather than overwhelmed to start my day / week in a good way then so be it. . And as our moods are a result of our habits and making ourselves feel proactive, productive, aligned, abundant, successful - resulting in more of the same is such a life giving nourishing thing to do. . Do you have a Sunday ritual? Roast dinner and wine? Cuddles and Netflix maybe? 😉 .
But can you soften your heart to yourself? . I worked with a client last year who did readings for people. On the last session we worked together she did a reading for me and gave me a keyword that pretty much still haunts me to this day. She told me I needed to soften. Yeah, all the prickles and questions came up and it stuck with me. . Last year when four of my family members fell seriously ill in a two week period I was knocked flat out on my back with the emotion of it all and it made me question how I was living my life (and working my work) suffice to say it resulted in me spending a heap of time off of social media and diving deeper into life instead. . And in those months following I began to teach myself how to soften, to open my heart more, to feel more and in turn enjoy my life more. Being kind to ourselves isn’t the easiest thing in the world to do. We’re our harshest critics, our biggest judges, our demanding boss and we rarely give ourselves the space to soften, allow and give ourselves grace. . But if there’s one thing I’ve learnt since I’ve been in business and more so since I became a mama, we simply have to gift softness to ourselves so we can grow, so we can learn, receive, create and become who and what we want in our lives. . Softness to me is an opening, of heart and mind, an acceptance without judgement swiftly followed by a dang good pat on the back and reassurance that you’re doing bloody great. . So, as today is Valentines day my friend I hope you can find a little sweet softness for yourself. And if you find it hard take it from me, you’re seen, you’re loved and you’re doing bloody great! . Happy Valentine’s day. And yeah I know it’s commercialised and cheesy but isn’t the intention of people world over showing a little more love to each other just incredible? . #chooselove
I’ll be the first to admit that I often feel as though I’m failing. Failing to do enough, be enough, be a great mama and juggle all the things. We judge ourselves so much don’t we? . From the cocoon of all the thoughts and emotions we can drown ourselves in judgement and those labels really do sting. Not only that they can take the wind out of our sails, the energy out of our bodies and our will to keep moving forward becomes non existent. . But it’s in these moments that I remind myself of my humanity, I remind myself that the only person I have to please is me and that perhaps I’m being a little hard on myself (aren’t we all?) and from here I get to love myself a little more and as challenging as that can be, if I can just surrender and let go of my own judgement and expectations, it washes in like a cool drink of water. . I’m rambling a little but what I really wanted to say was you’re doing great. And no matter how harshly your judge yourself, you are incredible, capable and so so powerful. And if you do ever feel like you’re failing (you’re not - it’s a mind state based on judgement and expectation) you’re in good company and there is a way out. . I wrote a blog post on @gatherco.uk today: ‘what to do if you feel like you’re failing’ and it’s been a sharp knife for me. Head on over to the blog for a read if it resonates. All love. . . . . .
She woke me with a kiss and said “good morning mama” as I replied she looked around her bedroom and said “did you paint that for me” (pointing to her dolls house) I said yes. She pointed to the stars, the moon and the clouds hanging in her room and said “and you made these for me” again I replied yes. She then threw her arms around me and said “thank you mama” gave me a sweet smile and any other moment that ever existed fell away. There was only us, that moment, that cuddle, that gratitude and the morning light shining on the stars swaying from her bedroom ceiling. . . .
It doesn’t matter where I am in business, with my goals, with all the adult worries, anxiety, concern over things I know aren’t worth spending time mulling over - this little one always brings me right back into the present moment, focusing my heart my mind and my attention away from what doesn’t really matter. Today she took her first ballet class, she was the smallest one in the line up but so passionately put her all into every second of the class and watching the life fill her little body reminded me how much as ‘adults’ we can sometimes hold ourselves back from this expression, from this passion, from this joy for life coursing through our veins (and of course I welled up at my proud mama moment). So today I vow to dance more, to worry less, to spin in circles, jump, laugh and play just because it feels good. We put so much pressure on ourselves, on life, on where we’re headed hiding who we really are how fun and silly we want to be and our true expressions of self but the real enjoyment of life happens right here, right now and for no other reason than pleasure, for our enjoyment, to fill our hearts and minds, to raise our energy and fills this world with love. Happy weekend folks, do everything you can that makes you smile at least one day this weekend I promise you’ll go to bed feeling like you’ve won the lottery and that life smiles at your soul as you skip through sands. 💗
Reasons I don’t post here often: 1) my photos are mostly of my daughter I barely ever have my own photo taken. 2) I forget to share my thoughts and always wonder whether they’re actually relevant or interesting to other people 3) I forget we’re all human dealing with similar insecurities and crazy ideas 4) I’ve been on a social media sabbatical which developed quite naturally but out of the need to silence the noise and find my full strength again so I’ve not wanted to be on this or Facebook (and I’m still not back there yet) 5) I’m learning to ease myself back into social media because I want to share not because I have to or want to use it for my business any more. Does any of this resonate? In the past six months I’ve felt like I’ve had the world on my shoulders, ive needed time and space to surrender, to grow, to find peace, to escape the stress of marketing online, the anxiety of being or feeling pressured to be something or one that I didn’t feel comfortable being. Especially because a lot of that pressure came from a want or need to create sales or success in my business. Yet it all comes at a personal price. I’ve not wanted to utter a word to anyone let alone say boo to a goose yet I’ve set up my new business and have 110k viewers to my Pinterest profile and good traffic to my website. And the difference releasing that pressure (the pressure to be someone or hold up consistency on social media) has made to how I’m feeling, how I’m opening and how I want to live my life and be on social is mahussive. 2018 was all about cocooning, about allowing myself to become whatever or whoever I needed to be without the pressure - this year I spread my wings once more so you May see me here more often but this time because I want to be here not because I need to be or feel pressured to conform. Yup, none of us are immune but who knew it would take my six months to feel mentally and emotionally healed from it all?!
Weekend. Feeling totally dreamy and looking it too but boy do I need it. Mini human was screaming with tooth pain last night, up most nights with it too so this mama feels like she’s been walking on autopilot BUT the new website is live, the new posts are being written, the new event date just about to be announced and the new shop chock full of business and life wellness nourishment for female entrepreneurs will be live soon too. Finally feels like I can breathe again and looking at this it’s so so worth breathing deeply (anyone else love the smell of crunchy leaves?) 🍁🍂 Happy weekend folks x