Fear of success is a legitimate thing. And it’s one that probably prevents us from moving forward more than anything else, largely because we don’t recognize it as a common issue with owning a business.⠀ ⠀ But it’s as prevalent as any other roadblock, and we don’t yet have the language or the tools to identify it and deal with it.⠀ ⠀ In the business world at least, we talk about the fear of failure all the time. (I have opinions on failure, but let’s stay focused here). Fear is a way for our brains to protect us, but it’s the same way our brains respond to the good things, too. Our bodies react to excitement in the very same way they react to stress or anxiety.⠀ ⠀ When we think about being successful, our bodies create the same physical response that causes us to brace and protect. The more we succeed and the stakes get higher, the more we exhibit the same behaviour as if we were under stress or pummeled with anxiety — irritability, impatience, delayed decision making, hair trigger tempers, etc.⠀ ⠀ When failure is our big worry, we understand that and can make sense of it. We can find support and cameraderie, and cheerleaders and tools. But what about when our inertia is actually derived from envisioning what life looks like if we actually do what we are setting out to accomplish?⠀ ⠀ That doesn’t make sense, does it? Why would we be worried about getting what we want?⠀ ⠀ When we fear success, we are fearing one of a few different circumstances:⠀⠀ ⠀ Fear of selling out. ⠀ Fear of becoming someone else. ⠀ Fear of being judged. ⠀ Fear or losing what you have. ⠀ Fear of not being able to sustain the success. ⠀ ⠀ GETTING OUT FROM UNDER FEAR⠀ So what are the best ways to try and address these beliefs and wrest yourself from their stranglehold?⠀ ⠀ Click over to the full article (link in bio) to read more about how to get yourself back on track. Or, check out my 2-part video series in IGTV to learn more.⠀ ⠀ So I’m curious to know… are you keeping yourself stuck worrying about what’s going to happen when you reach your goals? Or, what’s worked to help you get through this?⠀ ⠀
Interview: Why A Solid Business Model is Paramount to Success⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ I had the distinct pleasure of chatting with my friend Nicole Holland (@thenicoleholland) on her wonderful podcast, The Nicole Holland Show. ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ Key takeaways from the show:⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ A solid business model is paramount to your success.⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ Create the vision for your life first, then build the business to support it.⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ Get really clear on what you want out of your business and your life. Set non-negotiable boundaries, structure and expectations.⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ Build a brand that attracts the right people, the people you really want to work with, and repels the wrong people.⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ Take a listen - I'd love to hear your thoughts!⠀ ⠀ https://thenicoleholland.com/business-model-success-stephanie-hayes/ ⠀or link in bio.
This is my youngest. He came out smiling and has spent most of his almost 9 years making me laugh.⠀ ⠀ He’s lighthearted, goofy and thinks in the abstract, and we could all take a lesson from him when everything feels heavy.⠀ ⠀ It’s inevitable. Shit gets hard. There are days, weeks and months where we feel like we’ve had our heads down forever and haven’t yet seen the light of day.⠀ ⠀ There are times when we wonder why the eff we make everything so hard for ourselves.⠀ ⠀ There are moments when we want to give up.⠀ ⠀ All normal. All sucky. And all temporary.⠀ ⠀ What my son has is an uncanny ability to recover almost instantly from whatever has turned him sour, and I’ve always envied that gift and wondered how he does it.⠀ ⠀ Last weekend, we had an incident of too-much-shopping-and-stimulation and when he didn’t get what he wanted he became upset and pouted aggressively for a little while.⠀ ⠀ Then I watched his face turn from pissed off to thoughtful, to resolved, and finally to perfectly amused.⠀ ⠀ He said “Mama, I’m sorry for behaving like I did” and gave me a big cuddle.⠀ ⠀ Cute, right? Endearing? Uh huh.⠀ ⠀ Well, he proceeded to explain to me how he had reasoned his way from the original thing he wanted into a much better thing he would get when he got home, through logic he knew I couldn’t argue with.⠀ ⠀ Yup, homeboy had figured out how to turn a “No” into a “Yes” that was even better than the original one he was seeking.⠀ ⠀ He was motivated and determined. He realigned his perspective with what he really wanted and had reframed his whole situation so that everyone ended up happy.⠀ ⠀ This is a talent, for sure, but anyone can do it. You just have to choose to want it. He could have stayed grumpy but he chose to find another angle.⠀ ⠀ How much of your perception is the result of your mindset? How many ways can you reframe your current situation?⠀ ⠀ How can you take a cue from this resourceful little guy and find a powerful way to align your current situation with what you are really seeking?⠀ ⠀ Chances are, you’re in better shape than you think.
My guy and I spend a lot of time talking about why we choose to do things, or not do things, and whether or not we have the free will to decide.⠀ ⠀ (He’s a thinker, I’m a pragmatist, and we can end up debating for hours) 🤣⠀ ⠀ This debate comes up most frequently around the topic of getting active. I finally got sick of myself and just dove in to start running again (clothed in the amazing @bewildher leggings, of course).⠀ ⠀ Ultimately, eventually, you have to actually decide to do something or not and stop worrying about why.⠀ ⠀ Many business owners get stuck trying to start. Whether it’s the business itself, or a new project, or a new service or product, a marketing strategy or an acquisition, they get paralyzed with initiation anxiety, lost in the details, wondering what will happen if they don’t get it “right”.⠀ ⠀ Listen, just start somewhere. There is no “right”. What’s right is that you’re getting nowhere if you don’t start. You’re getting somewhere if you do, even if it’s a short trip to a dead end. You’ve got more information, which will help you make a course correction or a pivot.⠀ ⠀ Somewhere is better than nowhere. ⠀ ⠀ It’s OK to take your best guess. Chances are you know more than you think you do, and you’ll need more micro adjustments than big sweeping changes once you start.⠀ ⠀ Many of my clients belabour their strategies for wayyyyy more time than they ever need to, and when they want the perfect answer, are crestfallen when I tell them they just have to start and find out.⠀ ⠀ Here’s the thing - just like how your business should be completely customized for you, your strategies are also going to be totally unique (if they aren’t, then fix that). So it’s virtually impossible to know anything for sure.⠀ ⠀ The only way to become an expert is to do something many times in many ways and explore all the angles.⠀ ⠀ So what are you delaying getting started on right now? What are you labouring over getting just right?Can you start somewhere and see what happens? I promise you it will be better than staying stuck.
Sometimes things just don’t feel like they make sense (like my outfit in this photo). Everything’s upside down and sideways and feels messy and directionless.⠀ ⠀ Good. It means you’re doing something. ⠀ ⠀ OK, OK, but it feels crappy and out of control. I get it. ⠀ ⠀ First, get comfortable with uncertainty, ambiguity and the Messy Middle. It’s going to be a natural part of your process. Fighting it is just going to make you frustrated. There’s nothing wrong, it’s normal.⠀ ⠀ But I get that you don’t want to stay there forever.⠀ ⠀ So, you need to create a strong foundation for your business that will support you through your messy, upside-down bits and hopefully minimize them for you.⠀ ⠀ Where might you find that? ⠀ ⠀ Glad you asked!⠀ ⠀ I’ve just launched a brand-spanking new mini course to help you create a strong foundation for your business, built on my Growth and Profit Business Design Framework, which focuses on the six pillars of a strong business.⠀ ⠀ Best of all? It’s FREE.⠀ ⠀ I’m sharing with you the same foundation I take all my clients through, because every business owner needs this, and it’s easy to implement.⠀ ⠀ Check it out, sign up for the course and work your way through the six pillars to a stronger business that just makes more sense.⠀ ⠀ Find the mini course at www.stephaniehayes.biz or link in my bio.⠀ ⠀ Get strong and stable! 💪🏻⠀ ⠀ Then tell me how it’s working for you!